Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Disclaimer of Happiness



In defense of belligerent Tinker Bell, Duia, you will recall that once upon a time our friendship should have been sponsored by Arbor Mist.

You will also remember Grandma Jenny’s Sweet Tea, and the night we drank it out of heads.



Do I need to mention the Halloween we were both captains, got hit on by Dhani Harrison’s Ghostbuster band, and you danced with a taco? No, I think I’ll save that story for another time. Let’s go back to 2008. Back to when we first met.

Before Duia and I collided, I was running. Recklessly, raucously, resiliently running. I had lost people who were important to me. They were my world, and the world turned its back on me.

Who’s your favorite superhero? Mine’s Wolverine. So when this baby was put in a corner, snikt snikt, I was all adamantium bones and regenerative healing.

And running. Forget therapy, give me a shot of whiskey and the open road. I was 21 and invincible, I took a roadtrip across the country with a Canadian girlfriend (she’s real, I swear) and drove the entire way. I flew to California twice in as many weeks. I partied with rockstars. I got my first tattoo. Back on the homefront, I had a torrid love affair with The Side Bar, where I kissed blondes and stole their hats. 

He proposed. I grabbed his hat and ran to the bar next door.


I don’t just meet people. I happen to people. I have been the catalyst in many people’s lives, changing them for better or for worse (that’s on them), but living life the way that I do inspires. There really isn’t anything to it, here’s the secret: stop living pretends. Stop talking about all your aspirations and instead go live up to them, simple as that.

Be the change you wish to see in the world, Gandhi said. Be the trouble you wish to see in the world, Joey Comeau said. Both powerful life instructions, but if I may add: consider being the beauty you wish to see in the world. A lovely lady described me once as Tinker Bell, tiny dancing through life and sprinkling glitter over everything in my path. People gravitate towards shiny things, and I live my life looking at broken glass like it’s beautiful because it glitters- everything shines to me. I seek the silver linings and potentials in everyone and everything I come across.

I’m also stubborn and contrary, no one can tie me down or make me do anything I don’t want to (or didn’t think up myself first). But I consider this a strength, because for many years I was too meek and insecure to satisfy my curiosities about life outside my bubble. I was surrounded by toxic influences who put me down for my eccentricities and made fun of me for the things I found joy in. These vampires are everywhere. Cast them into the light.

Consider this a disclaimer of happiness. It is so easy to choose a pessimistic outlook, to blame the world and its obstacles or your past and the skeletons there for your dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Evolve. Believe that you are built to be better than that, forgive yourself and move forward. Run towards happiness.

Happen to people.

Duia sure as hell happened to me.

And it was Duia who made me stop running from who I was, and set me chasing after who I could become.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Followers

 

just fourteen words. Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved Revolution Two Church theme by Brian Gardner Converted into Blogger Template by Bloganol dot com